ImageLately, I’ve been going through a bit of system overload coupled with a bit of depression. Since this is considered, Autism “awareness” month (I prefer Acceptance, just to be clear), I have read so many beautiful writings by fellow autistic bloggers. I have also read and heard some awful things by people who do not understand autism, but they “think” that they do. I take all this is in, and I wonder, “what could I say to even remotely make a difference to any of this?” Put that together with being a parent to two boys, one with special needs and the other is just 11 months old. Also, trying to help friends who are going through some issues as best I know how and much more day to day things that can add to stress. My mind gets so cluttered with thoughts, and because I am so sensitive to what others feel, so sensitive in fact, that it can become painful. You see, I feel so much around me, I take it all in at once.  There is no filter for it. Therefore, becoming painful, especially when dealing with the negative. I get overwhelmed at times, and depressed because I can’t save the world from itself. Nor would I even know how to go about it. Anyway, enough about me.

Anyone who has even heard the word Autism, whether knowing what it is or not, has heard the word “epidemic” attached along with it. In fact, so many have heard this for so long, that they actually believe it to be an epidemic. So much so, that they try to find all sorts of things to blame for it, but the biggest thing is vaccines. Even though, time and again, it’s been proven otherwise. People want to “fix” their kids. They want to find a cause. They want a ‘cure’ to make their children ‘normal’.

This has gotten so bad, that people have decided against vaccinating their kids. And now, we’ve seen “real” epidemics of measles, meningitis, and pertussis (whooping cough) come back. Who knows what other diseases may follow suit. I know there will probably be anti-vaccine people to try to spread their junk science on the comments here. You guys might as well not bother, because I will not allow dangerous propaganda to be spewed on my blog.Image

So, what if I told you, Autism isn’t an epidemic? Would you believe me?  You see, I’ve gotten to know many autistic people, younger and older. I have spoken, read, and heard what they have to say. And being that I have done my research, and have found that I, myself, am autistic. I know that what the supposed “experts” say is an epidemic, is simply not true.

So, what is the “real” epidemic? I’ll tell you what the real epidemic is. It’s fear and misunderstanding of what it means to be autistic. It’s the fear of the unknown. It’s the fear of having your child perceived as different and not accepted by the rest of society, so much so that you want to “fix” them. This epidemic of fear is what needs to be cured, not Autism.

Get to know a few autistic people and you will learn to understand autism. And, guess what, you will also learn that it’s nothing to be afraid of.


Posted: March 28, 2013 in Uncategorized

one of the best things I’ve see so far on why Autism Speaks and other like them are evil. And an answer to why the Six Degree Project idea was a bad idea.


It’s that time of year again. April fast approaches and with it the scramble to not so much become aware of autism but to be seen to be aware. Like any condition where being aware of it is “cool” there will be the usual Facebook things. For autism for whatever reason the colour of choice is blue. Like cancer awareness, autism awareness is an industry in and of itself.

You can buy blue accessories to show the world how aware you are. Along with any other number of things that really don’t do much for actual autistics at all. The foundation that shall not be named (I have chosen to treat this especially noxious group much like Voldemort is in the Harry Potter universe) will make a very hefty sum of money in April as will many other groups.  The raise money for autism trend is spreading so you can…

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Silence is NOT Always Golden.

ImageA couple days ago it was made aware to me that some organization called The Six Degrees Project  proposed a couple hours of silence for autistic people, especially those who are limited in ‘traditional’ speech, so that they could ‘put themselves in an autistic’s shoes’.

I find this offensive. How does 2 hours of complete silence honor autistic people? Moments of silence are usually reserved for the dead. Autistic people are not dead in the least!! And another thing, if you haven’t bothered to get to know one, even one autistic person, you have no idea what it’s like in our shoes. Autism is not a disease or disorder, it’s a way of being. Yes, there are difficulties, but who in this life doesn’t have those? Shame on anyone who actually thought this was a good idea. Many of my fellow bloggers have made the same point, but I’m gonna make this short. DO NOT TRY TO PUT YOURSELF IN OUR SHOES, ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVEN’T EVEN TAKEN THE CHANCE TO KNOW US!! Thanks for listening to my rant. *hugs*

Image  Ok, What I want you all to do, is get rid of all the things you think you know about autism. Forget what Autism Speaks is saying. Forget what most media says. I want you to get rid of all your ideas of what you think about autistic people. 

Alright, now that we have that taken care of. I want you to go and actually get to know an autistic individual, or, better yet, get to know a few autistic individuals. Then you will see, you will see what autism REALLY is. You will see that each individual is their own person. YES, that’s right! We are people just like you, with emotions, and thoughts, and yes, we are much like you…WE ARE HUMAN! Did you get that? Autistic people are HUMAN BEINGS. Autistic people are capable of all the things you are. We are different, but isn’t everyone? Being like everyone else is overrated, I think. And I think that we all need to start realizing this. We share this planet together. I think it’s time that we accept each other for the beauty of each and everyone of us, autistic and non-autistic…disabled or abled.

So, next time you hear the “autism is a tragedy that needs curing”, maybe, you’ll say to that, “that’s bull, because I know so and so, and they are not a tragedy, and they are wonderful just as they are”…I think it’s time, we break the stereotypes, and  start seeing the individual. Just because you’ve met one autistic person doesn’t mean you’ve met them all.

Thank you. And I hope you have a wonderful day 🙂

I wanted to post this again…because it is what we are.

Autistic People SHOULD BE LISTENED TO and given credit by Autism Speaks.

Autistic People should be included, NOT excluded!!

Freak Parent: too weird for the weird.

Take this Google Search engine!!

Autistic people are kind.

Autistic people are wonderful

Autistic people are intelligent

Autistic people are worthy of love

Autistic people are AWESOME!

Autistic people are talented

Autistic people are good parents

Autistic people are sensitive.

Autistic people are empathetic

Autistic people  are here and should be listened to!

Autistic people are my friends and I love them! ❤

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I’ve been debating on what to write about. There are so many things going on in my head right now. It’s hard to put everything into words sometimes. So I figured I’d do a blog more about me.

My very first blog post was about my son, and how we came to know about autism and his diagnoses. Thing is, I did not react like many parents of diagnosed children. I readily accepted it though I didn’t know that much about autism at the time. I’ve never looked at my son as broken or someone who needed fixing, I just love him how he is.

When I started making friends with autistic adults, I began learning how different each individual really is. I also found that the diagnosis for many women happens much later than usual because so-called “experts” pretty much think that it mainly affects boys. I’ve read a few blogs by women on the spectrum. One of them kept getting misdiagnosed with various maladies. It seems that the differences between boys and girls also applies to how people deal with autism. As my understanding of autism grew, I started seeing similarities to my own past, and I begun to wonder if perhaps I, myself, belong on the spectrum (and is this the reason why I easily accepted my son’s diagnosis in the first place).

As far back as my earliest memories reveal, I’ve always been different. In kindergarten I  could not relate to the other kids as they seemed to relate to each other. I was relentlessly bullied all through elementary and middle school. This was the ’70’s; Different kids were usually diagnosed with the psychological fad diagnosis A.D.H.D. — and put on drugs. I’ve come to believe that many children have been misdiagnosed, like I had been.  Thank goodness my parents were observant — and even a bit skeptical to the fad psychological diagnoses — to see what the Ritalin was doing to me. They didn’t like it. So they stopped giving it to me. Not sure, but I do think even though I wasn’t on it long, that it may have done some damage.

I never had many friends, and much of my time during my youth, I spent it mostly by myself ‘in my own world’. I just wasn’t good at relating and when I tried to, I failed miserably much of the time. To this day, I feel uncomfortable looking people in the eye, unless I’m super close to them. I also feel very odd and uncomfortable in a crowded room. I feel almost alien. Even among the people I know, the punk/goth/electro music scene. I still feel like a freak among even the freakiest of people. Many people don’t know this. I hide it very well.

Thing is, for a long time, I believed that I had ADHD. Even while not on meds. Well, a few years ago, I was told I didn’t have it. I was told that I have bipolar disorder and PTSD. Again, put on a bunch of meds. I felt like a zombie, I couldn’t feel anything. I stopped taking all the meds because I would rather feel something, even deep sadness, than to feel nothing. Again, misdiagnosed. I know people who have bipolar disorder, and so, yea I know that I don’t have it. Plus if I did, you’d think that the drugs would work. And they didn’t, not one bit. I do have post-traumatic stress disorder though, that’s a long story for much later.

For 42 years, I’ve been wondering what is “wrong” with me. Thing is, I have begun to realize that just maybe there is NOTHING wrong with me. The possibility that I, myself, am autistic makes more and more sense. I want to get evaluated, but not sure about how to go about it. I do want to know. I know some would say, “you are doing fine, why would you want to?”  I want to know, I need to know, because then my life so far would finally make sense. And I could be proud of the fact that there really never was anything wrong with me.